Over the years, churches have wrestled with what it means to faithfully live out a complementarian view of men and women. Sadly, in many cases, complementarianism has been practiced in rigid or restrictive ways that have limited women’s ministry rather than empowered it.
But what if complementarian theology, rightly understood, is not about restriction — but about reflection? What if it’s meant to reflect the beauty, order, and wisdom of God through men and women working together as He designed?
I want to offer a way of practicing complementarian theology that honors God’s design, empowers spiritual gifting, and displays His grace in the time and place we live.
God’s Design for Men and Women
Genesis 1:26–27 gives us a foundational truth: both men and women are created in the image of God. That means men and women are equal in dignity, value, and worth. Women are not lesser beings. Both male and female are fully human, both called to know God, love God, and image God together.
Because this is true, we must reject any view that treats women as inferior to men. Patriarchal systems that suppress women do not reflect God’s design. They distort it.
At the same time, Genesis 1:27 shows that equality does not mean sameness. The text says, “In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Men and women are distinct — in their physical design, their responsibilities, and their relational dynamics.
And this distinction is not about superiority or control — it’s about responsibilities and dependence. As Wendy Alsup puts it, “Man and woman were to work the garden together, but they were not exactly the same. God created woman to help (ezer) the man in ways that suited, complemented, or went before him (neged) in the image of the one true Ezer, God Himself.”
To say it plainly, women should welcome and desire male leadership in their lives, and men should welcome and desire female partnership.
Complementarian theology celebrates this dependent distinction between men and women. It’s not men versus women — it’s men with women and women with men, together reflecting God in the world.
Tim Keller once illustrated it this way: when foil and glass come together, they create a mirror. Each element alone can’t reflect an image. But together, they do. In the same way, when men and women serve together — in marriage, in the home, and in the church — they reflect the wisdom and beauty of God to the watching world.
Therefore, we must make space in the church for women to use their gifts, influence, nurture, love, teach, serve, etc. Yet, we cannot do this at the expense of men functioning as leaders. The New Testament is clear: men are to function as elders of the church (1 Timothy 3; Titus 1). Men are to lead their homes (Ephesians 3, 1 Peter 3).
So how do we do this?
Women in Ministry
Every believer, male or female, is filled with the Holy Spirit and gifted for ministry (1 Peter 4:10). Throughout Scripture, we see women serving as prophetesses, judges, deaconesses, and gospel witnesses. Jesus Himself welcomed and discipled women who followed Him closely and proclaimed His resurrection. None of this handicapped or undermined male leadership.
So the question for the church is not whether women should use their gifts in ministry, but how men and women can serve together in a way that honors God’s design.
What does this look like in my church?
- Women are encouraged to lead and serve in every area of church life outside of the office of elder.
- Women are appointed as deacons to serve ministries that align with their gifts and callings.
- Women are included on the stage on Sundays — reading Scripture, leading prayers, serving in worship, and using their voices to build up the body.
- Women’s voices are welcome — Elders often ask and listen to leading women in the church on matters of care, mission, and strategy.
None of these practices threatens the leadership of elders in the church any more than my wife using her gifts in our home threatens my leadership of my family. In fact, it strengthens the whole body when women are equipped and empowered to serve in their God-given gifts.
A Picture of Ordered Equality
The goal is not to rebrand complementarianism but to recover its beauty. We want to practice what Scripture teaches — that men and women are equal in dignity and worth, distinct in their roles and responsibilities, and dependent on one another in ministry.
This is “ordered equality.” It’s not a hierarchy of value, but a harmony of design.
When we live this way — men and women together, distinct yet dependent — the church becomes a living display of God’s manifold wisdom (Ephesians 3:10). Our life together becomes a reflection of His glory to the world.
Conclusion
My hope for my church is that we practice a form of complementarianism that is both faithful and freeing — one that empowers women to use their gifts, honors the leadership of men, and calls both to image God together.
When men and women embrace their God-given design and serve together in unity, the church flourishes — and the world sees something of the goodness of our Creator.
Ministry That Matters 